Joke Thread

[XxuversxX]

 

[flyer]

It snowed last night...

8:00 am: I made a snowman.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.

8:15 - So, I made a snow woman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snow woman's voluptuous
chest, saying it objectified snow women everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit, and said it should
have been two snow men instead.

8:22 - The transgender man... woman...person asked why I didn't just make
one snow person with detachable parts.

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose
since veggies are food and not used to decorate snow figures.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white.

8:31 - The middle eastern guy across the road demanded the snow woman be
covered up.

8:40 - The police arrived, saying someone had been offended.

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the
snow woman needed to be removed because it depicted women in a domestic
role.

8:43 - The council of equality officer arrived and threatened me with
eviction.

8:45 - A TV news crew showed up. I was asked if I knew the difference
between snowmen and snow-women? I replied "Snowballs", and I am now called a
sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe,
sensibility offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by
social services.

9:29 - Far left protesters offended by everything marched down the street
demanding for me to be arrested.

By noon, all the snow had melted

Moral: There is no moral to this story. It is exactly what we have become
... all caused by Snowflakes.

 

[Lopaka KaMars]

 

[Lopaka KaMars]

 

[Brit@KSA]

This is alarming!

"*Whiskey produces Female Hormones in Men!*"

Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones!
Montreal University scientists revealed this.

Men should take a concerned look at their whiskey consumption.
The theory is that whiskey contains female hormone-producing agents (it contains phytoestrogens) & that by drinking enough whiskey, men turn into women.

To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 shots whiskey within a one-hr. period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects--yes, 100%!--of all these men:
1) *Argued over nothing.*
2) *Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.*
3) *Gained weight.*
4) *Talked excessively without making sense.*
5) *Became overly emotional.*
6) *Couldn't drive.*
7) *Failed to think rationally,*
and
8) *Had to sit down while urinating.*

NO further testing was considered necessary.

Send this to all the men you know to warn them about drinking too much whiskey!

 

[flyer]

So, only drink 7 in an hour...

 

[Lopaka KaMars]

 

[Lopaka KaMars]

This reminds of when I walked into a Chili's and tried to order Chili, with hamburger and beans. I got scoldings from the wife for making a lame joke, when I was actually genuinely serious.

 

[Lopaka KaMars]

 

[Lopaka KaMars]