Life Event

[Nortika]

You can beat it and you have have all of us backing you up!

 

[Medusa50]

I don’t want anyone to ever experience what it’s like to hear those words. We’ve found something. It’s not like hearing you have a cavity, your transmission needs to be overhauled or anything else. Deep down all those things are disappointing. Cancer is different. Doctors don’t talk about curing. They use words like remission, prolonging life, palliative care.

I‘ve contemplated what my life will look like in the weeks, months possibly years to come. As much as people do care even they struggle with how to deal with it. After my chemotherapy ended many friends stopped asking how are you? At first I thought that’s normal because it’s over. You’re out of the woods. I think differently now. It’s never truly over. What many don’t under is that cancer is just starting for me now.


To put that in perspective, everyone has had since January to think about it, cope with their own emotions etc. I was on a fast train of tests, therapy, chemo treatments and medication. That ended for me and I got kicked off that train. Now I’m more isolated and there are fewer people around. No more doctors, technicians and support people. More time to think about what just happened.

The reality is now it’s time for me to digest all of it. I find myself thinking more. I spoke to a friend out of State the other night and couldn’t help but say, “No one asks how I’m doing anymore” The fact is just because they haven’t heard from me doesn’t mean everything is ok. I’m far from that. I joined a support group of cancer survivors. I only attended once so far. They have a virtual meeting once a month.

My expectations aren’t that friends contact me daily. I’m realistic. The point I was making to him was the physical toll has improved , the mental toll has deteriorated. Not everyone knows that. My struggles now are more deeply centered in my mind even though physically I may look good. I’ve been able to write about it more than talk with others. It has been a tremendous outlet.

Looking back I’m very glad I started this. I thought of keeping a diary. This thread enables me to look back and despite some of the darker moments it has helped me focus on the fact I’ve made improvements and that is motivating.

Just remember that cancer patients need a great deal of care well beyond their immediate treatment plan. Hopefully you don’t know someone impacted but if you do, talk to them. They need to hear from you. I want to continually thank all those here for their support.

 

[Tom.]

Just remember that cancer patients need a great deal of care well beyond their immediate treatment plan. Hopefully you don’t know someone impacted but if you do, talk to them. They need to hear from you. I want to continually thank all those here for their support.

I did........ my grandad died from lung cancer. He was a smoker.

He was a ambulance driver from his early 20's and many years forward.
After that he worked as a school janitor. My grandma worked on the same school.

She got ovarian cancer.

She was tough as nails...... when we visited her in the hospital, instead of complaining of the disease or pain, she talked about everything else, like for instance that she couldn't sleep at night, so one day she walked in to the TV room and ate bananas and watched a Mike Tyson boxing fight on TV....... all alone in a huge TV room in a hospital.

due to time difference the fight must have been around 3 or 4 at night here..
Just a little story i wanted to share with you

She survived, she beat that cancer.

And my thoughts and prayers go out to you

 

[Medusa50]

I did........ my grandad died from lung cancer. He was a smoker.

He was a ambulance driver from his early 20's and many years forward.
After that he worked as a school janitor. My grandma worked on the same school.

She got ovarian cancer.

She was tough as nails...... when we visited her in the hospital, instead of complaining of the disease or pain, she talked about everything else, like for instance that she couldn't sleep at night, so one day she walked in to the TV room and ate bananas and watched a Mike Tyson boxing fight on TV....... all alone in a huge TV room in a hospital.

due to time difference the fight must have been around 3 or 4 at night here..
Just a little story i wanted to share with you

She survived, she beat that cancer.

And my thoughts and prayers go out to you

I find myself wanting to talk. I know there is not a specific audience it has more to do with saying what you feel and perhaps having another person who truly understands. Thanks for sharing that.

 

[Tom.]

I find myself wanting to talk. I know there is not a specific audience it has more to do with saying what you feel and perhaps having another person who truly understands. Thanks for sharing that.

For sure..... my grandma loved to talk, so much that my grandad wish he could use earplugs....

She did talk about the disease as well, but she never complained, it was more like humorous anecdotes.
People are different, i know i would whine, moan and feel sorrow for myself, and bring everybody down if i was seriously ill. :-(
That is why i dread it very much. I am not a very positive person, despite my sense of humor, i see the glass as half empty. And that is not good in times of trouble.
Then you have to stay positive, for yourself and others.

I hope you have/find someone who wants to listen you...... about whatever you feel like sharing.

 

[GRFMotorsports]

I find myself wanting to talk. I know there is not a specific audience it has more to do with saying what you feel and perhaps having another person who truly understands. Thanks for sharing that.

If you want to talk sometime shoot me a message and we can talk (phone or text is about by tech limitations). About whatever you want. I may not be able to understand it all but I hope it would be a conversation that brings you a smile!

 

[Tom.]

If you want to talk sometime shoot me a message and we can talk (phone or text is about by tech limitations). About whatever you want. I may not be able to understand it all but I hope it would be a conversation that brings you a smile!

That is awesome!

you should def. do that medusa ..... and perhaps also visit some of the forum members in the US...... it's not like you/we don't have something in common like a hobby to talk about

 

[Medusa50]

If you want to talk sometime shoot me a message and we can talk (phone or text is about by tech limitations). About whatever you want. I may not be able to understand it all but I hope it would be a conversation that brings you a smile!

I will reach out. Telling others what you’re experiencing is one thing but listening to what others have to offer in response is a bigger part of coping with it. Sometimes when we have a hard time deciding what to do next, the decision is obvious from another vantage point.

 

[Medusa50]

Another visit yesterday. First stop was Urology for my injection of Lupron. Other than the burning as she put the needle in there was nothing out of the ordinary. The nurse said the Eligard injection is thick and it tends to burn for about 20 minutes. If you’ve ever seen the movie Lethal Weapon when they hold a butane lighter to the guys forearm that’s what it feels like.

Next stop on the tour was Oncology. Earlier that morning my wife put Lidocaine on my chest around the port. The first thing they do is insert the needle in my chest then draw blood followed by a flush with saline. They do this every 6 weeks to keep it clear, prevent clots and reduce infection. Lidocaine helps a lot. It’s like pin the tail on the donkey only you lose at this game every time. Fun stuff.

Later on while having dinner my lab results came back. My wife asked what my PSA level was. I opened the app on my phone and saw the number was .05! That number was down again from last time which was .13. She said she was happy but she began to cry. It was great news yet the emotion it invoked was just too much to process.

Last week I had 3 MRIs and the imagery showed disc disease at every level, extensive osseous lesions throughout the skeletal system and bilateral arthopathy in my lower lumbar. I had been feeling rather degraded upon hearing it. Seeing my wife’s reaction to my PSA result wasn’t easy but knowing she cares and being with her did more to lift my spirits than anything. I’m doing my best not to focus on the negative elements of treatment but rather the dramatic PSA improvement.

Perhaps I’ll wear my Fives today in light of my new all time low!

 

[Tom.]

Another visit yesterday. First stop was Urology for my injection of Lupron. Other than the burning as she put the needle in there was nothing out of the ordinary. The nurse said the Eligard injection is thick and it tends to burn for about 20 minutes. If you’ve ever seen the movie Lethal Weapon when they hold a butane lighter to the guys forearm that’s what it feels like.

Next stop on the tour was Oncology. Earlier that morning my wife put Lidocaine on my chest around the port. The first thing they do is insert the needle in my chest then draw blood followed by a flush with saline. They do this every 6 weeks to keep it clear, prevent clots and reduce infection. Lidocaine helps a lot. It’s like pin the tail on the donkey only you lose at this game every time. Fun stuff.

Later on while having dinner my lab results came back. My wife asked what my PSA level was. I opened the app on my phone and saw the number was .05! That number was down again from last time which was .13. She said she was happy but she began to cry. It was great news yet the emotion it invoked was just too much to process.

Last week I had 3 MRIs and the imagery showed disc disease at every level, extensive osseous lesions throughout the skeletal system and bilateral arthopathy in my lower lumbar. I had been feeling rather degraded upon hearing it. Seeing my wife’s reaction to my PSA result wasn’t easy but knowing she cares and being with her did more to lift my spirits than anything. I’m doing my best not to focus on the negative elements of treatment but rather the dramatic PSA improvement.

Perhaps I’ll wear my Fives today in light of my new all time low!

Last week I had 3 MRIs and the imagery showed disc disease at every level, extensive osseous lesions throughout the skeletal system and bilateral arthopathy in my lower lumbar

So that is caused by the drugs they give you?

Could those issues return to normal when you stop taking those drugs?

Or perhaps you will have to take those drugs forever?